Another Dislocation

Dislocated my right shoulder again this evening. My husband was able to get it back in. It's just so incredibly painful from four dislocations in the span of a week. The pain killers are barely touching it. 

My daughter and father are visiting my sister and her family in Nashville for a few days. It looks like a blast. I really wish I could've been okay to go, but once again, my health prevents me from doing fun stuff. 

I miss my sister and her boys so much. 

My husband came home and cleaned some since the house was a disaster from being unable to use my right arm hardly at all and a lot of orthostatic intolerance. Migraines have been happening a lot lately too. 

I'm super sore, and my lower back, where I had surgery on a herniated disc a couple years back is really getting bad again. 

Well, enough whining. 

Prayers for some physical relief and to have my usual optimism back would be appreciated.  I need to be able to function a little soon. Ben said he feels like a slave because he works and still has to chime home to a mess. I so wish here didn't have to and it makes me feel awful and useless, but I physically can't right now, but everyone still expects me to. They say they understand I'm disabled but they get really annoyed when I can't do what a healthy person can. It makes me think they really don't think I'm truly sick. So I just cry and cry. I try to post things that bring awareness and explain what I can and can't do. But people get mad about that. Really, sometimes I wonder if I just need to be dead so I'm not an annoying burden who says things people don't want to hear. I won't act on it, but the thought is very much there. 

I hope I can sleep tonight. 

Painsomnia is a bitch. 

Day thirty Chronicle: Complete.