Defending Disability

Am I the only one that has to defend their disability? When I attempt to point out I cannot work, I get told I could if I wanted to. Although if my husband didn't make so much money, I would get disability and health insurance, etc from the government, because there is a ton of medical evidence that I CAN'T WORK. I didn't want to grow up to be in a bed 23 hours most days, needing help to shower. But I'm told how damn lucky I am to "be able" to stay home, like this is some sort of treat. And due to my PTSD, anxiety, depression mental health issues, people think I should be on medication that makes me more pleasant to be around. Not to help treat me in any way. Just to make me more palatable to them.  After all, nobody really  wants to hear about disability.  I was on thorazine and while it caused a huge problem with lack of sleep, vomiting and nausea, tartive dyskinesia, Parkensonian like shaking, weight gain, and I heard voices a few times, people found me more pleasant on it, so want me to take it again. They blame me defending my disability, rather than going along to get along, on my mental health. Why is my physical pain, dislocations, GI problems, orthostatic intolerance, etc, about my mental health to them? Talking about them and defending myself makes me just mentally unstable. People like it better when I paste on a smile, say everything is fine, and make sure I make everything all about them. I mean, my husband tries. He has gotten fairly good at helping me get dislocated joints back in socket. Maybe I should start screaming uncontrollably to get the point across that it FREAKING HURTS! My mother prays daily and cares, but I'm not sure she understands chronic illness, or even what I'm diagnosed with. I have the sweetest aunts and cousins, but they are not nearby, and I'm horrible at keeping in touch, and haven't really talked with them about my health issues. My sister is pretty much one of the most amazing people on the planet, but also one of the most busy people on the planet. But this isn't about defending them. It's about defending disability. The point I'm trying to make is that I shouldn't have to. No disabled person should have to. Being shamed for being unable to work or cancel most social plans or not pick up your phone is not right. Your mental health should not be used to dismiss your physical health, or you defending your disability. I am not being unreasonable to want to have my chronic illnesses taken seriously. I am not unreasonable or acting out of mental illness to debate the seriousness of what I physically deal with. Am I a little touchy about my husband saying how hard he works so I "get to" stay home? Absolutely. If he didn't work I would still "get to" stay home. It's bitter to point out you've had to give up on the things you wanted for your life, your ability to take a trip, your ability to take care of your child, and your ability to take care of yourself, but it doesn't make it not true. I usually keep my mouth shut about it. But sometimes, well, I need to remind people I'm not okay, and to understand and not make it about them. 

So today both shoulders are quite painful, as is my jaw, I'm very nauseous, my orthostatic intolerance is acting up, bad headache, my right knee is still a little funny, my right ankle still sore from twisting it yesterday, my myriad of bruises are painful, I'm very fatigued, anxious, depressed, and feel quite isolated.  And it's only half past two. 

Day two Chronicle: Complete